5 things About Building A Blog Platform

You see the word "Platform" everywhere in the writing community. It's everywhere you turn. And let's face it, you're curious about it or else you wouldn't be reading this right now. Here are five things I've learned about building a platform since I started the journey to become published.



1. There are mixed thoughts about the absolute need for a platform by an unknown writer. Many agents only look at the platform (in most cases a blog) when they are genuinely interested in the story that was submitted to them. So, first things first. Perfect the writing and story before spending oodles of time building a blog, because the writing will speak for itself regardless if you have a blog or not.

2. It's really hard to gain followers on your blog if you are only talking about yourself and your unpublished work. So until you are a published author (or even an agented writer) hold off on filling your blog with JUST your own work. Do some book reviews in the genre you read. This will allow you to get to know others, and gain blog followers with common goals and tastes as yourself, thus creating that "built-in" audience publishers like to see when thinking about buying your book.

3. It won't hurt to tie in a well written blog at the bottom of your queries to agents, as long as your blog focuses on writing. I once heard an agent say (yes this was from a conference) she checks out all blogs on the queries she's even remotely interested in. She also went on state that if the writing is dark, or high fantasy, she gets turned off if the blog has a ton of kitties or babies on it. So the lesson there is to match your blog with your writing style. I'm not saying turn your blog into a goth dream or anything, but maybe just limit the cutesy pictures if it doesn't match your writing style.

4. Should you pay someone to overhaul your blog and buy a domain name? No. At least, I don't think it's necessary. But if you want to do it just for the fun of it, then I say go for it, because having a blog that you can be proud of is pretty fun. I just made the leap myself to a professional blog makeover (second one on the link). I was hovering around 430 followers so I thought why not. I'm on there a ton doing posts and just wanted something pretty to look at. Lame, I know. But my old blog design didn't stop publishers from sending me advanced reader copies (ARCs), so don't feel like it's a necessary step.

5. Be yourself. I know this is something you've heard since you were a baby still in diapers, but it's true. People will like you. Let your personality come through, whether it be in your novel, blog post, or a simple comment. 

Reading, Writing and Waiting

To agent or not to agent

Last night I found out that one of the writers I've done beta work for is about to make an announcement. This writer has a book deal with a major publishing house and she achieved it without an agent. She did go the prescribed road of write, revise, send to betas, revise, betas, query, agent revisions, query etc. None of the agents made an offer.

I won't get into too many details because I'm a little afraid I may be stepping over the line by posting about this and don't ask me who it is; I can keep a secret.

So after finding out about this last night I did a lot of thinking. I've always said I wouldn't want to go this route. I want an agent who knows the ways around the publishing world. In a way, I also think it has do with having an "expert" tell me what needs to change in my book and when it's ready to send out. But thinking on it last night, I realized that I don't have a finished project that I'm so sure about that I would go the non-agent route.

When I beta read this person's work I fell in love with the story and told her she would definitely sell this one. Am I bowing to my awesomeness? Absolutely not. I've said that to several people and they're still not sold, although I honestly cannot understand why!

I want your thoughts on the agent route and if you would consider bypassing, why? I've decided if I have a project I love so much; I may actually change my mind.

And you must, must, must go here and see this awesome cover and make plans to buy this book! It is freakin' fantastic!!

WANTED: LITERARY AGENT

Rejections: When You Miss It By That Much

Have you ever had an agent email you and tell you things like "don't sign with anyone else before contacting me" or "I am crazy in love with the premise", but are ultimately rejected anyway? To me personally, it's those rejections that hurt the most. They get you all pumped up, and you think maybe this is it! Well, if this is happened to you, you are not alone. It happens to the best of us, believe me, but there is good news in those rejections. It means you're close!!! When an agent takes time out to write a one page critique of your work it just means they cared enough about the story to give you detailed feedback, which is awesome because it means you held their interest.

Rejections sometimes make you want to pull your hair out or maybe even quit writing all together, but don't let them get you down. We all get them. It's just apart of the journey to publication. Just think, even Stephanie Meyer sent 13 queries and only got one yes (aren't you glad Jodi Reamer your intern didn't know to instantly reject an over-the-limit YA manuscript) and Becca Fitzpatrick posted on her blog it took her five years to get Hush Hush agented. Keep hope my friend, persistence pays off, just ask any published author.

Share with us your journey in the comments section below. We writers have to stick together!!

Emotions of the writing process

What emotions do you see in this cartoon? Someone jacked up on caffeine? A person in the midst of writer's block? A writer finishing a manuscript? Stress from a deadline not being met? The picture comes from here and it is supposed to be a contented writer.

I'm not going to blog about that article, I just loved the cartoon. What I want to blog about today are the emotions that go along with writing because this is a very emotional business. Here are some thoughts: if I could only finish this manuscript, if I could only finish these revisions, if I could only get requests, if I could only get an agent, if I could only go on sub, if I could only get a deal, if I could only finish these editor revisions, if I could only like my cover, if I could only get on the shelf, if I could only sell enough books to earn my advance, if I could only write another book...it starts over, minus finding the agent, hopefully.

It never ends. Ever. Unless one decides to stop writing. Even if one becomes the next Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, he still has to come up with new ideas and write more books. Some pressures and "if onlys" go away or change into other "if onlys" and new pressures, but it is an ongoing cycle.

Writing suits me. Being an only child, I had to have an active imagination to keep myself company, plus I've always lived in a fantasy world of one type or another. The entire publishing industry fascinates me and I'm enjoying every step and each new thing I learn. There are times I just want to give up. Times I look at my wips and hate them, or am tired of the characters. There are times I'm discouraged, times I'm happy and times I'm just blah. But I continue on because writing is an outlet for my creativity and a way to stretch my mind. And I have a reason to consume massive amounts of chocolate.

What emotions do you feel during the writing process? Do you ever want to burn your manuscript? Let us know how you feel and I wish you the best of luck in your own writing journey.

Rejection-YES!

From: Rejection-YES! in collaboration with Query-YES! (a division of T. H. Mafi, Inc.)

To: AGENTS

Cc: EDITORS

Bcc: WRITERS

Subject: FWD: Fwd: RE: re: Re: Rejection-YES!

>>Agents!

>>>>>Do you need to spice up your rejection letters? Are your form responses reading a bit routine and dry? Do you miss the early days of the query-system and wonder what happened to handwritten thank-you-letters and honest communication and a cyber-world without stalkers? Are you bombarded by angry authors’ saccharine-sealed syringes of verbal vitriol and vindictive verses of angst and outrage? Are you tired of writers bad-mouthing you on the internet-magic-stream-of-information??

>>Does any of this sound familiar to you??

>>If so, I’m here to tell you there is hope!

>>!!>>For the outlandishly low, low, LOW low price of ONLY $500 (as easy as a car payment!) a month, you can subscribe to Rejection-YES!, a foolproof rejection system designed to bridge the gap between alienation and acceptance. It’s a magical technique that will revolutionize the rejection-industry while simultaneously solving all of your rejection woes! No more guilty headaches! No more late-night chocolate-binges!

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>So what are you waiting for? Open up that Paypal account Microsoft Word Document and subscribe to Rejection-YES! today!

>>>>Rejection-YES! is about saying NO to the rest!!

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A SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE REJECTION-YES! SUBSCRIPTION:

7 WAYS TO SPICE UP YOUR FORM REJECTION:

1. Try new things. Maybe use an endearment you’d normally feel too shy to employ? Agents: Insecurity is not attractive. Writers are attracted to confidence. Don’t be afraid to say what you’re really feeling. (Examples: Snickerdoodle, Snookie, The Situation, or Spider-monkey.) Maybe even include a picture of yourself. Do something very out of the ordinary and try something new with your writer. Spontaneity breeds longevity.

2. Talk to each other about what you want. If you want more action-adventure, tell the writer. If you want more mystery and fantasy, tell the writer. If you want to spend more time reading the kissy-kissy scenes, then tell them that, too. Spend some time really talking about what you like and want, and learning about what the writer likes and wants.

3. Relax together. How much time do you spend running around doing things or working on somethingelse? How much quality time do spend with your query-letters, where you actually read each and every word? If you have kids, get a babysitter. Turn off the phone, close your bedroom door, and just let the stress and demands go for a while. (They’ll still be there later!) A great way to read query-letters is while relaxing in a hot tub or a nice bath (just put your laptop in a Ziploc bag!). Your new, calm, tranquil self will translate into an improved rejection letter, and writers will love you for it!

4. Try something new in the bedroom. Start small if you need to. Change things up just a little bit, then build on that as much as you want. Maybe move your desk closer to the window? Maybe build a newdesk? Maybe buy a new lamp? Whatever you decide to do, be sure to talk about it with your writer so you can both share what you like, or anything you might not be comfortable with. Maybe employ a code word incase one of you gets uncomfortable with the new arrangement?? It helps considerably if you’re both on the same page.

5. Don’t let yourself go. Remember when you used to write those fancy blog posts or tweet those query status updates to catch your writer’s eye or turn his/her/it’s head? Remember when you used to show up in the AbsoluteWrite forums and answer writers’ questions? Remember when you used to call writers and offer them representation all the time?? You don’t have to stop now just because you’re a serious, deal-making agent! Try all those things that you used to do, and learn some new moves as well! Get your groove back!!

6. Play games together. There are lots of contests and even intellectual games you can play together. You can create your own, purchase something else, or use ideas from other people. You can even make up your own rules with fun props! Props are the key!! (Examples: flour, books, mugs, granola bars, long-stemmed roses.)

7. Use your words. The way you talk to your writer can be a fantastic way to spice up your rejection-relationship! Instead of nagging or complaining, try complimenting and admiring. Tell them what you love about them, instead of pointing out all the little things that drive you crazy. What you focus on will expand, so focus on the things you want more of!

These are just a few ideas to get you started. But as you’ve undoubtedly deduced, spicing up your rejection-relationship does not have to be complicated and difficult. Once you try a few things, you’ll probably find that not only is it easy, but it’s also fun and enjoyable. So be prepared to make all your agent-friends wildly jealous of your new rejection-relationships!!

SUBSCRIBE TO REJECTION-YES! TODAY!!

Rejection-YES! is about saying NO to the rest!!

www.Rejection-YES!dotcom

Rejection-YES! is a sister company of Query-YES! Copyright © 2010

Query-YES! T. H. Mafi, Inc. All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise indicated, all materials on these pages are copyrighted by Query-YES! T. H. Mafi, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Therefore, reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 

SERIOUSLY.

We'll hunt you down. We're not even joking a little bit.   

Query-YES! is the only way to guarantee SUCCESS! 

www.query-yes!dotcom

Lessons from Backspace: Titles, Queries, and Pages

I did not get to attend as much of Backspace Writers Conference as I originally planned, but one extremely useful seminar I went to was called “Midtown Idol,” featuring agents Jeff Kleinman, Kristin Nelson, and Joanna Stampfel-Volpe.

The seminar was divided into a few rounds. In the first one, the woman at the microphone (who had a GREAT reading-out-loud voice, something I hope to develop someday) read queries. The agents would then indicate whether they would request sample pages based on those queries, or they would request to hear the logline (that one sentence “this is why my book is awesome! Read it!” thing), or they would stop her in the middle of the query and say “nope!” and give a reason.

In round two, Captain Expert Reader would read sample pages from the “maybe”s and “yes”s from round one for exactly one minute. The agents would then raise their hands to indicate at which point they would stop reading the pages. Then we all voted on our favorites.

I listened to over thirty queries, and after awhile, you start to notice patterns, even if you aren’t a query expert. But all the same, I thought I would list the Mistakes Made at Midtown Idol (That Even I Noticed).

Mistake One: The Crazy Title

This is probably the only time I will ever say this, but: better bland than ridiculous, when it comes to titles. At one point in round one, Captain ER said the title of the book and all the agents laughed and said they would pass. This wasn’t a moment of cruelty, or anything. It’s just that if the title makes your book sound crazy, ludicrous, or impossible to love, you set up whoever is reading it to hate it from the getgo. In our attempts to find THE title that will sell a million, jillion books, we sometimes forget that we have to be prepared to toss our first titles out the window when the book sells. So, the moral of the story: your wacky title may get you attention. But it’ll be the wrong kind of attention, probably.

Mistake Two: The Rambling Query

Several times, the judges asked Captain ER to stop reading because the query ran on or wasn’t concise or was just too darn confusing. The last thing you want is for someone to have to read your query several times to figure out what your book is about. It should be, above all else, clear.

The judges usually asked for Captain ER to read the logline instead of the query, when the query was unclear. The logline is just a hook. It conveys what your book is about (without conveying EVERYTHING the book is about) and also screams “YOU MUST READ ME!”, that is, if it’s doing what it’s supposed to. Here’s the kicker: MANY people’s loglines were ten times better than their queries. Their loglines were crisp, easy to understand, and interesting.

Therefore I have some thoughts about how to improve The Rambling Query:

A. Read it out loud. To other people. That way, they can tell you if they’re confused. If they can’t understand it without seeing it on paper, it’s probably not clear enough.

B. Don’t write a query. Write a hook. Most people’s hooks will be too long to be hooks, but just long enough to be queries. I think trying to restrict your query to a single sentence could be extremely helpful. Not that your pitch paragraph should be a single sentence long (although I suppose that could work, in some cases), but if you strive for a sentence, you'll probably end up with three sentences. And you may feel that those three sentences aren't enough, but you might be wrong. All your query needs to do is make someone want to read your book. It doesn't need to explain everything.

Mistake Three: The Flowery First Pages

This was a problem in a lot of the sample pages we heard. Basically, you hear that your first pages should showcase your best writing. So you try to pack in as much “good writing” as possible. What generally happens at that point is that the writing is saturated with adjectives. My thought is: less is more. Your first pages shouldn’t say “LOOK AT MY WRITING.” They should say “get sucked into my story.” If your voice is engaging, it will lead whoever is reading it along just fine.

Also, I think we could all benefit from reading the first pages (or, heck, all the pages) out loud. I know it helped me to hear writing that probably looked all right on paper read out loud without any pages to guide me. I noticed a lot more mistakes, and I definitely noticed when things got boring. So, maybe read your first pages out loud to someone, or have them read the pages out loud to you, if you can find a willing volunteer. If your volunteer stumbles or gets confused, so will your unfamiliar reader, in all likelihood.

So there you have it. Tips I put together in my head while observing Midtown Idol. Happy writing, everyone!

WHAT JANET REID IS REALLY THINKING

TOP FIVE REASONS (THERE ARE MORE) WHY JANET AND HER AGENT-POSSE-FRIENDS TURNED YOU DOWN 

(proceed with caution. this post intended for funnies only.) 

1. YOUR QUERY LETTER IS TOO PERSONAL 
1. Don’t be a shmuck.
1. You’re not best friends.
2.  Don’t personalize the email, you crazy stalker.
3. Do you want them to get a restraining order??
1. THE POINT: no more using first names, last names, surnames, or baby names. Just CC every agent in the industry. Keep it generic. They like that kind of thing. It makes them think you’re professional.

2. YOUR BOOK IS TOO SHORT 
1. You really think you can tell a story in 50-100,000 words?
1. You obviously know nothing about the literary industry. (Have you even SEEN the 7^th Harry Potter book??) (Have you??)
2. Good books dive into details. LOTS OF DETAILS.
3. DON’T CUT WORDS. You have to savor every saturated syllable in every silky sultry letter you use to describe the 15 varying variations of the differentiated differences in the different shades of silvery symmetry in the cascading currents of the Caribbean sunset. Maybe note why each one is so unbelievably and unimaginably insignificant, and maybe throwing in a sonnet (iambic pentameter, lest we forget) wouldn’t hurt either.
1. THE POINT: your book needs to be at least 200k. Any shorter and agents will laugh at your ignorance.

3. YOUR FONT IS UNREADABLE (this is a real word) 
1. Times New Roman, guys? Seriously??
1. You need to stand out. Be unique! Creative! Show off your personality! Try something new!
2. Also: black is so BLAH. Font colors should be sharp and vibrant! The brighter the font, the easier it is to read. See?? <-----
3. Papyrus! Lucida sans Unicode! Comic sans MS! Futura! Bell Gothic bold! (Maybe make your own handwriting!)
1. THE POINT: with so many font colors and options available, why do what everyone else is doing?? Be MEMORABLE! (Fuchsia STENCIL STD is my fave.)

4. YOU NEVER SPECIFIY WHAT TYPE OF NOVEL YOU’RE WRITING 
1. This one should be obvious, guys, SERIOUSLY.
1. Is it a FICTION novel?
2. Is it a non-fiction novel?? 
3. Is it a memoir novel?
1. THE POINT: be specific. Fiction novels are VERY different from non-fiction novels/memoir novels/photography novels/biography novels/picture-book novels/etc.

5. IT DOESN’T RHYME 
1. Everyone knows that rhyming-things are more catchy, and consequently, less likely to be forgotten.
1. If your query doesn’t rhyme, you’re not doing it right. Not really.
2. It helps if you choose words that end in –end (more things rhyme with this.)
3. Random example:

My novel is made of fiction, 

my fiction is made of words.

My words are filled with diction,

my prose is made of turds (insert: genius).

The story is about a sailor,

the sailor goes on a trip.

The story is about a sailor 

and the whale who eats his ship. 

Etc. etc. 

1. THE POINT: see how much better rhyming-queries read? The query possibilities are endless!

THE FINAL POINT:

Don’t be bothered to read query guidelines and/or rules and/or restrictions and/or regulations. Guidelines are for geeks. (And you don’t want to be shoved in a locker, DO YOU??) (DO YOU????) Let your TRUE personality shine through your query letters. CALL the agents at their offices, maybe even their cell phones. (They might like the sound of your voice, because hey! Maybe your voice is sexier than your words? Work with what you’ve got!) ALSO: Drop in unannounced as much as possible, (maybe with a bouquet of long-stemmed roses??) because agents want friends just as much as you want a book deal. If you show them you really care, it’ll prove how dedicated you are to your craft, and they’ll be sure to respond more quickly. More $$$$$$$ literary pleasure for you!!

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!

Send your dream agent that personalized mug full of granola bars/bleached flour/stale valentine’s day candy/personal care products/love note/your phone number!!

AGENTS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!

In conjunction with NEAT TIP! Nes-day, this post is sponsored in part by Query-YES! Copyright © 2010 Query-YES! T. H. Mafi, Inc. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all materials on these pages are copyrighted by Query-YES! T. H. Mafi, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Therefore, reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 

SERIOUSLY. We'll hunt you down. We're not even joking a little bit.   

Query-YES! is the only way to guarantee SUCCESS! 

www.query-yes!dotcom

Querying Blunders: How Not to Query with Agent Holly Root

Yep, it’s that time again. This latest installment of Querying Blunders (aka: How Not to Query) comes to you from SuperAgent Holly Root of Waxman Literary Agency. For those of you who don’t know, Holly reps AW writer Jill Myles, author of the amazing UF Succubus Diaries series. (and while it’s, er, not exactly YA—*fans self*—Jill has a YA on sub right now which we know will totally rock!)

Also, check out client Serena Robar's Giving up the V and the Half-Blood Vampire series, due to be re-released this June!

Now, on to Holly's thoughts on querying no-no's:

"The hardest ones for sure are the drop-by queries. It happens more in the summer and more on Fridays; the door to the agency opens and in walks a wayward soul. "I flew all the way here from [wherever] just to bring this to you," they say, or "I was in town already and just thought I'd try," or "I'm on a layover from Taiwan." Either way, these folks show up, manuscript in hand, and are shocked when our extremely polite assistant does not immediately hand out a contract and set them up with a bag of money from Random House (often, they don't even know who we are or what exactly we do). Save your time, your money, and the cab fare in from JFK--drop-bys get you noticed but not in the good way."

(GotYA note: Wait—you mean, agents don’t have bags of money just sitting around their offices? Curses, our dreams are shattered!)

"I'd say a couple times a year someone tries the bribery road, by offering up the use of their vacation home/timeshare/frequent flyer miles or what have you, or (more frequently) offering the whole advance as commission. Boundaries, they are your friends."

(GotYA note: Although, we bet the vacation home on an island is tempting sometimes. Especially if it comes with free strawberry margaritas.)

"I also see a lot of the classic information that does not help your cause--"my daughter is a very picky reader and she thinks it's amazing;" "everyone always told me I should be a writer;" "I won the third-grade writing award;" "I think it would make a great movie." And a lot of "this book is the new Twilight/Harry Potter/etc." But honestly, I know how hard the whole query process is so while I might pass on a blunderiffic query now, there's absolutely no way I would remember that person negatively if they showed back up in my inbox, having learned a lot about querying and polished all hints of the kooky out of the letter. Every query is a new chance to do it right!"

(GotYA: We love Holly’s upbeat, positive attitude, and ditto this thought. Everyone makes mistakes when they’re first starting out! Just keep learning and plugging away, and you’ll eventually get there. We have faith in you! Also: blunderiffic might be our new favorite word.)

Thanks so much to Holly for participating, and to Jill for setting this up for us! You ladies are amazing!

QUERY-YES WILL CHANGE YOUR QUERYING-LIFE FOREVER

Are your query letters just not cutting it? Are rejections piling up in your inbox? At the mailbox? Are your superbly-crafted queries just. not. garnering the interest you expected? Are you sad? Are you very sad? Do you find yourself sitting in front of your computer hitting the 'refresh' button so many times you've developed carpal-tunnel? Do you experience unexpected bouts of self-deprecating thoughts? Do you have too many cats and not enough ice cream? Do you ever find yourself feeling so low that you've actually considered revising your query letter? Or even the forbidden revision of your manuscript?? Have agents lied about the effectiveness of rhetorical questions??

Well, today everything is going to change, because I have the solution to all of your query-woes.

For the low, low introductory price of $19.99 a day, I'll fill your inbox with Query-YES! a new development in the literary world that is going to change everything about the way we work. With Query-YES! you'll never struggle for that perfect opening line, or even an attempt at defining your genre. Genre is so subjective as to be meaningless these days, and agents know this. They're query guidelines are so full of so full of typos and grammatical erros that they can't even be trusted. But Query-YES! is on your side. 

Every day, Query-YES! will drop a new, customizable query letter into your inbox. These query letters have been tested by everyone I know, and even my parents have approved of them!  (And we all know how tough parents can be, don't we?) With this airtight success-rate, Query-YES! is sure to land you the literary agent of your dreams! So what are you waiting for? Order Query-YES! today!

Query-YES! is the only way to guarantee SUCCESS! 

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Continue reading for a free sample of Query-YES! solutions! 
(Query-YES! is a division of T. H. Mafi, Inc.)       >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>

>>>Dear AGENT [sir/madam/snickerdoodle/insert endearment of choice]:

>>>My name is the one you’ve been dreaming of. My face haunts you in your sleep (see attached). My fingers type sweet nothings into your inbox, and you’ve been fighting the urge to offer me representation for some time now. I’ve written to provide you with the relief you need. I’ve written, to tell you, [sir/madam] (this includes all 5,000 of you I’ve CC’d, just so you know this email has been personalized), that the time has come for you to cast-off your fears, and welcome me into your heart, your office, your home, and maybe your bed (are you single?).

>>My current work-in-progress (which I’m certain you’ll absolutely adore once it’s finished) is something of an anomaly. The world has never seen anything quite like it, actually. If I were forced against my better judgment to describe it, I’d have to call it a healthy mix of fantasy, mystery, romance, science-fiction, action-adventure, epic narrative non-fiction, something about a forbidden ruby, a magic lamp, a flying carpet -- oh wait, wait, sorry, that was something else. No, my novel has a special ring, preciousssssss, some tiny hobbits -- oh, oh, oh dear, sorry, that was another book, wasn’t it? My apologies. (I’m obviously very well-read.) The truth is, that in addition to the aforementioned list, my novel features a fairy-boy who exudes sweat-bead-reminiscent-sparkly-skin in the sunlight. The plot will follow his insatiable need to eat a non-fairy girl. She will, at one point, beg him to eat her.

>>>>>>>I assure you that there is something quite forbidden in the novel. (Like forbidden love, perhaps.) Someone has no powers and will discover that, actually, he/she has an incredibly well hidden family tree tattooed on his/her back that includes a note about the powers he/she will acquire at the tender age of 16. The story will also involve some kind of sophisticated-power amulet. To make matters more thoroughly spellbinding, someone will discover a stone with inherent magical abilities. There will be a character who simply appears at random to serve no other purpose than to provide unquantifiable and otherwise irrelevant information. The protagonist will consequently learn a special, ancient art form of kung-fu while struggling to understand herself and simultaneously save the world. She and her breath-takingly-jaw-achingly-heaven-scentedly-swoon-inducingly-inhumanly-gorgeous Love Interest will live happily-ever-after. (OR DO THEY??)

>>>I’m sure that you are desperate for this letter to end so that you may hit ‘Reply’ and offer me immediate representation. But [sir/madam], I can be of some comfort when I reassure you that there is plenty of time for our relationship to blossom and begin.

>First, I must tell you more about my ideas for the future. Alongside the photo I took of myself this morning (my very enticing ‘come hither’ look was inspired almost entirely by you) I’ve attached my rendition of what I am firmly convinced must be the cover of this book. You may have already wet your pants (don’t be embarrassed) in anticipation of the wonder that is my soon-to-be-completed-fiction-novel-of-literary-genius, but do not fear; I will not judge you for using the bathroom in your khakis so unexpectedly. It is, in fact, to be expected, once you begin to fathom the earth-shattering success and unprecedented amounts of money my book will undoubtedly acquire. Not to worry, [sir/madam], I will be here to hold your hand throughout the process. But enough about you, and back to me. (I will, after all, be the mastermind of this wildly lucrative under-taking.)

>>>>>>>>>>>>Born and raised in the heart of a world no other would ever be able to understand and/or appreciate, the life of this troubled author was never easy, nor shall it ever be easy, nor do I think anyone will ever be able to understand what it is, exactly, I endure on a daily basis. My mind is so often wracked with rhythm and blues, red and black hues, surreptitious cues to peruse the delicately crafted muse of my heart. Do not confuse my unique issues with those odious few who think they are shrewd enough to compete with my art. It is simply impossible. I am an inventor an exemplary contender in this sedentary standstill stuck in this static stoic state of sadistic sobriety we call life. I am a collector a connector a catalyst for consensual collaboration connected in cooperation with creators of creational recreational conversational banter. I am a master of sensation and unforeseeable syntactical salvation, I am a mother a father a sister a daughter an either an other an ordinary utter of a broken-hearted brother. I am everything you’ve ever dreamed of in a client. This much should be obvious by now.

>>!!>!>>>Calm, now, [sir/madam], you must be calm. Do not cry for fear of losing me. I have enclosed the entirety of my unfinished fiction novel, saved in a .docxerrorformat006tr0xx for your convenience. I will grant you one week to look over my manuscript in order to ensure the 32-point Papyrus font is to your liking. I have no doubt you will shed tears, blood, and copious amounts of hair upon reviewing my work. You may, in fact, lose an eye or two. I feel it necessary to warn you now.

>>>I will be waiting at home, taking photos of myself in the mirror, thinking of you the entire time I wait for your response. Please do not forget to mention your gender in your reply, and whether or not you are available for a committed, long-term relationship. I am devoted to my craft. This much is reflected in my life, and it will be reflected in our soon-to-be concretized relationship.

>You may thank me for my time.

Oh to love, to love, to love,

To love me is not a crime.

To love, to love, to love,

I’ll stalk you until you’re mine.

>>>Sincerely,

Soon-to-be-rich-and-famous-and-happily-secured-in-a-monogamous-relationship-author@gmail.com

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Copyright © 2010  Query-YES! T. H. Mafi, Inc. All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise indicated, all materials on these pages are copyrighted by Query-YES! T. H. Mafi, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of these pages, either text or image may be used for any purpose other than personal use. Therefore, reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or retransmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission. 

SERIOUSLY. We'll hunt you down. We're not even joking a little bit.   

Query-YES! is the only way to guarantee SUCCESS! 

www.query-yes!dotcom

Kath tells her laptop that she got an agent...

If you click on the above video, you'll get an abbreviated version of my agent story (which was all I could manage because I was at Starbucks and the guy at the next table was looking at me like he thought I'd forgotten to take my medication).

But, yes, in case it doesn't come through in the video, I am very excited. So excited that I want to celebrate and give you something. Not all of you (because pixel pushers don't make that much money) but at least one of you.

Ready? It's very simple. I'm a gal on a mission. Justin Timberlake brought sexy back and I'm bringing werewolves (or wereanythings) back (not that they ever really went away). To that end, I'm giving one lucky reader a copy of Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit on DVD (and I'll throw in an "I Read Banned Books" button).

Want to play? Just leave a comment saying what animal you would change into if you were a weresomething. It doesn't have to be a wolf. Personally, I call dibs on werepigeon.

The contest will be open until 11:00PM EST on Monday and is open to residents of the US and Canada (my sincere apologies to all other nations).

The Call…a look at how I got my agent!!

October 17, 2009–a seemingly ordinary Saturday night out with the girls. Elation hung heavy in the air since one of my buddies since elementary school had announced she was pregnant. I had just ever so covertly glanced at my Blackberry—the kind of glance you do so you don’t look rude by checking your email every five minutes. There was a reply from an agent with one of my novels. Not expecting anything, I clicked on it. And there it was….”I’m really loving this story. Can we talk sometime next week?”

I squealed…like extremely loud. Then the table broke into celebration once again. It was also a very bittersweet celebration since that day would have been my mother’s 60th birthday. But what I couldn’t imagine is how that was just the beginning. Offer Two came in on Wednesday and then Offer Three came in on Friday. Sigh….decisions, decisions…EEK! It really came down to a second phone call with Agent Two followed by an overwhelming feeling of peace. Those of you who know me, know that I’m a very spiritual person. I’d spent Sunday praying for God to lead me in the right direction. And I firmly believe he has by having me sign with Fonda Snyder of Creative Management.

So, not only was the “call(s)” insane, but the journey to get to this moment has been as well! Okay, I underestimate it. It’s been an INSANE rollercoaster of emotions—and trust me, I don’t do roller coasters because I’m afraid of heights!

Here’s a brief synopsis, oh lord, the “s” word, of my journey to finding an agent. Last November, my idea for my YA UF, The Guardians, hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean, I couldn’t sleep at night because characters were talking to me. I completed it in early January. Then I began querying it at the end of the month. This would be an example of when ignorance is NOT bliss. I had a couple of teacher buddies and one student read it—not exactly the most objective beta readers! What followed was rejection, rejection, rejection, and then reflection, reflection, reflection about my story including have a freelance editor give me feedback. But then the Calvary truly rode in when I hooked up with some awesome beta readers include the fabulous Kody Keplinger and Hannah Wydey. They really helped me whip the Guardians in to shape. In May, I had two close calls, one with a Christian agent and then another when an agent with a track record that wasn’t the best.

But alas, it wasn’t TG that landed me an agent. Nope, it was a very strange little idea that came to me after I lost my first student last year. Cooper wasn’t a player or a manwhore—no, instead he was just a good ol’ country boy whose pacemaker malfunctioned while he was playing in a basketball game, causing him to collapse and die on an old gym floor. Cooper’s death ignited long dormant memories of two high school buddies I loved, Travis, who would have been the next Adam Sandler, and David. And then the idea came to explore how males handled grief.

So, as soon as school was out, I started Don’t Hate the Player…Hate the Game. It was a whole new world considering it was narrated by a seventeen year old male. I say it was a whole new world when in fact, it isn’t my first time of narrating as a guy. In the original Guardians, both Elijah and Rafe narrated. But in truth, there really is nothing like Noah. A true smartass dealing not only with the death of his best friend, Jake, by blowing up on a tractor, but also with his mother’s impending marriage, a new baby sibling, and reconnecting with his absent ball playing father. Oh and falling in love, rather than lust, for the first time in his life.

And that my dear writing friends, is a somewhat long winded version of “my call” and my journey to get here. I thank all of you for your help, support, and encouragement along the way! All you gals of OPWFT, especially Stephanie, Becca, Jamie, and Annie, I couldn’t have done it without you. Hannah and Kody, you rock too, gals!!

*Okay, I’ll say my Oscar worthy acceptance speech of thank you’s for when/if my book sells!!!

Original post published on Old People Writing for Teens by GotYA contributor Krista Ashe. To view the original post and reader comments, please click here.

On the similarities between trying to land an agent and trying to land a job.

Your query letter is like your resume. Both give you an opportunity to show off prior experience. Relevant education also helps, and a good reference can make all the difference. You should check both for spelling and grammar errors. Your should keep them as short as possible while showcasing what you have to offer. The idea is to get your foot in the door – get that interview or manuscript request.

Once you’re at that next stage, you need to make them want to work with you. You do this by professional behavior and by bringing your best. Sending in a manuscript that you know is flawed is like showing up in a wrinkled suit. Give everything one last check before putting it in their hands.

Here’s a quick list of things not to do if you manage to reach this stage. Don’t contact them before the time you’ve been told they’ll contact you unless it’s really important, as in an offer from someone else. Don’t resort to bribery. Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want them hearing. I’m sure that there’s an entire post worth of don’ts that could go here.

Now that you’ve landed an agent/job, the similarities continue. You two are partnering up to make money. You are not partnered to become BFF. Be punctual. Don’t whine. And unless you no longer both believe in the wonderfulness of the product you’re trying to sell, you stick with it even after the sparkly newness wears off.

One last quickie. Thanks to the internet, there are thousands of other people who are thinking the same way you are. Many of them are wackos, wasting the agent’s valuable time that could be spent loving you. Unfortunately, there’s not anything you can do about them ;)

Originally published on Old People Writing for Teens by GotYa contributor Holen Matthews. To view the original post and reader comments, please click here.

Agent Spotlight: Laura Rennert w/ Andrea Brown Literary Agency

Contest closed! Winner will be announced on Monday, August 3rd.

The Andrea Brown Literary Agency, Inc. was founded in 1981. The agency focuses on representation for children’s book authors and illustrators. Laura Rennert is a Senior Agent and has been with the agency for ten years. Some of her clients include Jay Asher, Ellen Hopkins, and Catherine Ryan Hyde. In addition, she has recently sold major and significant deals to Simon & Schuster and Scholastic.

Ms. Rennert looks for novels with a strong, fresh voice and compelling narrative. According to the Andrea Brown Literary Agency website, she is interested in middle-grade, young adult, and crossover novels.

To query Ms. Rennert or any other agent at Andrea Brown, please see the agency’s website at www.andreabrownlit.com. Keep in mind the agency only accepts e-queries and only one agent may be queried.


BOOK GIVEAWAY!


Recently, we interviewed Jay Asher, author of THIRTEEN REASONS WHY (see July 13 posting). We are hosting our second book giveaway with a copy of the high concept, debut novel. (Please Note: Contest has Closed)

Original post published on Old People Writing for Teens by GotYA contributor Stephanie Jenkins. To view original post and reader comments, please click here.

The Great Agent Search

Hello there everybody! My name’s Amy, and I’m one of the contributing bloggers here on OPWFT. Many of you are on that seemingly never-ending search for a dream agent I’m sure, and I wanted to share with you my personal journey that led me to mine.

When I finished my novel The Tortures of Blight, the first thing I did was go out to my good old Barnes and Noble and buy the 2009 Novel Writer’s Market to see what I was supposed to do next. It was within these pages that I realized if I really wanted to build a steady career from writing, (eventually of course- getting published is only the icing on the cake) I would need to write this weird thing called a query letter in order to snag another weird thing called a literary agent. The book vaguely outlined how a query letter should look, and I whipped out a very, very horrible draft of one. Of course, I had no idea how horrible it was and promptly sent it out to a completely random agent that was listed within the Writer’s Market. Now, it’s important that you know my query broke just about every single rule in the book. I groveled, I begged, and I spent about two paragraphs telling the agent that even though I am not a published writer, I have passion and have been writing since I was small and have always loved books and yada yada yada yada.

I didn’t include my word count. I didn’t include the names of my characters. I didn’t describe the plot. I simply spent a whole page giving away the fact that I did very little research on what a query letter should really look like and included three thank yous for the agent’s time. (Yes, three. I believe the exact sentence was ‘Thank you, thank you, and thank you again, so much, for your time.’ WOW just reading that over again is quite embarassing, but I’m here to show you all the warts I guess.)

Needless to say, in the ignorance of being a newbie I had hope that my (one) query letter would snag a request and I’d be seeing my completely unrevised novel in print very soon. Yes, I was even silly enough to believe that I wouldn’t have to make many revisions, if any. Tee hee, right?

Imagine the heartbreak when two weeks later, my SASE was returned to me holding only my original query with the words ‘Not for me’ written in very impatient handwriting at the bottom corner. That’s right, I didn’t even get my own piece of paper for the rejection. It was so bad that she just wrote on the query. I can’t say I blame her, but of course I cried and cried and thought that I would never find an agent and that all hope was lost.

Sob story aside, something amazing came from that slap in the face. My shame drove me to actually research the agents I was sending to, which lead me to the website Absolute Write, which lead me to what is lovingly dubbed as Query Letter Hell- a blunt and often stinging critique forum for query letters. My original query was torn to shreds immediately, as were the fifteen or so drafts that followed. After seven months of revising the letter and 60 rejections, I received my first and only request for a full. All the horrible emotional lows I had experienced for the past seven months were made worth it in about ten seconds when I got that magic email asking if my now agent could call me on the phone to talk about my manuscript.

The journey was insane, but I learned many important lessons. Among them, I learned that nothing in this ‘business’ is set in stone. What many agents may love, others may loathe, especially in the querying process. Well meaning critiquers will make suggestions that will hurt, not help, your query letter. Others will make suggestions that save the whole thing altogether. In the end, there is only you and your work. Rejections have absolutely no reflection to your quality of writing, and although they are very discouraging at times you must never let them define you. Agents are people too, people with likes and dislikes and personal interests. They are NOT robots who scan a letter and have the magic ability to automatically deem something ‘worthy’ or ‘not worthy.’ Everyone’s journey is unique.

It’s been crazy so far, but I just got my revisions in the mail today and am excited to better the manuscript. I’ll keep you all updated on how submitting goes, and I hope everyone has an amazing day!

Original post published on Old People Writing for Teens by former OPWFT contributor Amy. To see the original post and reader comments, please click here.