Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Bad Blurb Tuesday: Some Girls Are

*NEWSFLASH* Before I get to the blurb, just a head's up. You've probably heard it already, but there's an auction for disaster relief in Japan going on at Write Hope featuring all writing-related items, like ARCS and critiques. I'm offering a full manuscript critique, followed by a full manuscript read by my agent, Taylor Martindale. That package will be up for bids on Thursday, so please, check it out if you're interested!

And now back to our regularly scheduled blurby badness.

It’s Bad Blurb Tuesday! This is where we create a seriously awful blurb for a well known YA book to prove that, yes, bad blurbs/pitches/queries can make even the most awesome stories sound lame. It’s actually one of my superpowers. And here I asked for the ability to make chocolate chip cookies out of broccoli. Oh well—can’t win ‘em all.

This week, I decided to pick one of my all-time favorite contemporary YA novels: Courtney Summer’s Some Girls Are.

Here’s my blurb:

Some Girls Are mean. Regina, the main character, sure is. She was mean to her ex-best friend and this one guy—which is a bummer, because she kind of likes him now—and a bunch of other people too. Now her current friends are being mean to her, both in person and on Facebook. Basically, it’s one big circle of meanness.

Seriously, doesn’t that profound gem make you want to jump out of your chair and speed to your nearest bookstore? Doesn't it scream 2011 ALA Best Fiction for Young Adults (one of the book's numerous awards)?

No, you say?

Luckily, the clever folks at St. Martin’s Griffin came up with something MUCH better. Here’s the real blurb:

Climbing to the top of the social ladder is har--falling from it is even harder. Regina Afton used to be a member of the Fearsome Fivesome, an all-girl clique both feared and revered by the students at Hallowell High... until vicious rumors about her and her best friend's boyfriend start going around. Now Regina's been "frozen out" and her ex-best friends are out for revenge. If Regina was guilty, it would be one thing, but the rumors are far from the terrifying truth and the bullying is getting more intense by the day. She takes solace in the company of Michael Hayden, a misfit with a tragic past who she herself used to bully. Friendship doesn't come easily for these onetime enemies, and as Regina works hard to make amends for her past, she realizes Michael could be more than just a friend... if threats from the Fearsome Foursome don't break them both first.

Tensions grow and the abuse worsens as the final days of senior year march toward an explosive conclusion in this dark new tale from the author of Cracked Up To Be

So, what do you think? Will St. Martin’s be offering me a job as their jacket-copy writer anytime soon? Also, think you can do better in the bad blurb department? Go for it, and leave your version in the comments!


Melanie said...

The amazing thing is, I read your blurb and was like, yeah, that's pretty darn lame. I've read this book. I LOVE this book. I'm a HUGE CS fan. And even though I read the original blurb, I still got the chills from it. That to me is a great blrub. It's all about the chills. So, yeah...stick to your day job :-)

and hahaha on the Voldemort pic.

Deb said...

This is an excellent example about the power of choosing words very carefully in and outside the book!

That Voldemort image is the best thing I've seen all week.

Cheree said...

Wow, I've never read the blurb of this. I've just read the reviews of others and that's what makes me want to read it. Word choice is extremely important, especially on the back of the book.

courtney summers said...

I don't know, I kinda like this "bad" blurb. I'm singing ~The Circle of Meanness~ in my head to the tune of ~The Circle of Life~ :)

(Awesome post, Debra! I couldn't resist commenting. Thanks for choosing SGA!)

Debra D. said...

Mel--CURSES! I was so looking forward to crafting quality blurbage! :D

Deb and Cheree--very, very true!

Courtney--Awesome, now I'm trying to come up with a complete Circle of Meanness song. I'm sure this will help up my word count A TON.


Krista Ashe said...

Blurbs have never been my strong point, so in my opinion, you did pretty well!! LOL

I loved Some Girls Are, tho. Awesomesauce!!