Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Manuscript Blues

Do you have the manuscript blues? If you have any of the symptoms below, our product may be right for you. If not, let us know what we can add to our questionnaire.

Have you ever felt like destroying your manuscript? Revisions kicking your butt? One agent wants this changed, another wants that changed before you can resubmit? Perhaps an editor is interested, but needs you to add more romance and tone down the language before they make a decision? A beta told you it sucks and your character is too egotistical? Or maybe it's something you've unsuccessfully queried for a year, and you look at that thing and think, "What the hell do I do with it?" Or perhaps, like me, you decide to take that YA with a romantic arc and turn it into a MG without the romantic tension and can't. find. the. voice?

If you've ever felt like this, there is a solution:

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FIRE. Yes, you heard right, fire. I'm talking about a revolution. Think back to the bra burnings in the sixties. I'm sure you've read about it in history books. It changed things. So take that manuscript outside, clear a spot, get something to burn it in, lots of water for safety and light it up. And watch it burn, baby, burn. Bar-be-que that sucker. It will feel really good. Liberating.


Do not burn anything that is not your own writing, it's rude to burn something someone else has written. Burning manuscripts may pollute the environment and cause global warming. Make sure you have a copy of that manuscript saved in several places before burning the hard copy. Keep all body parts and clothing away from the fire at all times. Keep out of the reach of children. Be sure to vlog and take pictures for history's sake. And at all times, have fun. Burning may not be for everyone. There is an inherent risk every time you are around fire.If you experience smoke inhalation see your doctor. Remember this is just a suggestion for fun and is in no way intended to diagnose or treat any writer's block. Children under the age of eighteen must burn with a parent's supervision. If there is anything else this disclaimer missed, well, you can't sue me if you screw up, after all, that's what those disclaimers are for anyway, avoiding responsibility :)

9 comments:

Anna Scanlon said...

Looks cathartic. I have some old drafts of books that need that ASAP.

Sarah said...

HAHAHAHA. Oh Jenn. I love you.

Susanne Winnacker said...

LOL. LOL. LOL. Great post!

Erin said...

LOL! Great post.

Jamie B said...

BURN BABY BURN! I know what I'm doing this weekend! Warmth + mental health = win!

Tracey Neithercott said...

Ha ha ha. That was great.

Colene Murphy said...

Hahaha!! I'm so there right now so this really looks like a good idea! But...no...

Becca said...

Hmm, considering the joy I had burning all the stuff I used to study for finals in high school, this looks like fun too. I may have to consider it.

J.S. Wood said...

Thanks. I really think I'm going to try it. Exactly as Anna stated, cathartic.